Applying Non-Violent Communication Skills

During the last school year, I switched grades to become a second grade teacher.  Another teacher that had been a long-time third grade teacher made the switch to 2nd grade after 3 of the four teachers had retired.  They reduced the number of 2nd grade teachers to three.  The teacher that was left had taught with the other three teachers for 16 years.  She did not do well with this transition.  The other new teacher and I tried very hard to adapt to what they had always done in 2nd grade, but we also wanted to create a new path for ourselves and try some new ideas.  This was not received well at all.  Little disagreements and hard feelings that were covered up throughout the school year came to a head in April.  the 2nd grade had always put on a spring musical that they wrote and directed themselves.  The other new teacher and I weren't overly enthusiastic about doing the program as we saw it to not be beneficial of our time.  The senior second grade teacher did not include us in the writing of the program or in the song choices or scenery, but instead enlisted the help of the former second grade teachers.  When it was time for our first rehearsal, the other new teacher and I decided to line our students up to go on stage in the auditorium. Apparently, it had always been done a different way and that was the straw that broke the camels back.  Not only did the senior teacher not speak or interact with either of us for three weeks, it came down to a nasty meeting with the principal.

Knowing what I have now learned, i would have handled this situation in a completely different way. I should have removed my personal feelings of insult from the situation and looked at it from the perspective of the senior teacher.  Sixteen years is a long time to work with the same group of people.  to have them all leave at the same time had to be hard to handle. Had a viewed this in a more neutral way and looked at all sides, i would have been able to see the situation in a new light and not a confrontational one.

Applying the 3 R's of respect, reciprocation and response would have also helped.  I should have shown her respect for her years teaching the grade and for the situation she was in. She could have also shown respect in giving us credit for being able to bring some new ideas. By reciprocating, i could have shown extra respect the first year by just going along with what had been done in the past.  perhaps then, she would have reciprocated my respect with allowing us to make small changes without holding a grudge or feeling territorial. I should have also had a more mature response.  For the first three weeks that she ignored us, I tried to ignore that we were being ignored 9if that makes sense).  Finally though, it grew to a head and we all three responded in a negative way.

Looking back, I could of handled this situation in a much better way if I had the knowledge I have now.

References:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/