Applying Non-Violent Communication Skills

During the last school year, I switched grades to become a second grade teacher.  Another teacher that had been a long-time third grade teacher made the switch to 2nd grade after 3 of the four teachers had retired.  They reduced the number of 2nd grade teachers to three.  The teacher that was left had taught with the other three teachers for 16 years.  She did not do well with this transition.  The other new teacher and I tried very hard to adapt to what they had always done in 2nd grade, but we also wanted to create a new path for ourselves and try some new ideas.  This was not received well at all.  Little disagreements and hard feelings that were covered up throughout the school year came to a head in April.  the 2nd grade had always put on a spring musical that they wrote and directed themselves.  The other new teacher and I weren't overly enthusiastic about doing the program as we saw it to not be beneficial of our time.  The senior second grade teacher did not include us in the writing of the program or in the song choices or scenery, but instead enlisted the help of the former second grade teachers.  When it was time for our first rehearsal, the other new teacher and I decided to line our students up to go on stage in the auditorium. Apparently, it had always been done a different way and that was the straw that broke the camels back.  Not only did the senior teacher not speak or interact with either of us for three weeks, it came down to a nasty meeting with the principal.

Knowing what I have now learned, i would have handled this situation in a completely different way. I should have removed my personal feelings of insult from the situation and looked at it from the perspective of the senior teacher.  Sixteen years is a long time to work with the same group of people.  to have them all leave at the same time had to be hard to handle. Had a viewed this in a more neutral way and looked at all sides, i would have been able to see the situation in a new light and not a confrontational one.

Applying the 3 R's of respect, reciprocation and response would have also helped.  I should have shown her respect for her years teaching the grade and for the situation she was in. She could have also shown respect in giving us credit for being able to bring some new ideas. By reciprocating, i could have shown extra respect the first year by just going along with what had been done in the past.  perhaps then, she would have reciprocated my respect with allowing us to make small changes without holding a grudge or feeling territorial. I should have also had a more mature response.  For the first three weeks that she ignored us, I tried to ignore that we were being ignored 9if that makes sense).  Finally though, it grew to a head and we all three responded in a negative way.

Looking back, I could of handled this situation in a much better way if I had the knowledge I have now.

References:

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

Being an Effective Communicator

I feel that I really learned a lot from this week's application assignment. Something that really stuck out to me was that I evaluated myself as a better listener than what my husband and co-worker evaluated me as.  My husband actually thought i was a 'time-oriented' listener.  This made me really feel badly.  As my life has become much busier now that I am in this program, my actions have made him feel as though I only listen when it fits me schedule. He is such an important person in my life and I would have not known he felt this way if not for this assignment.  This is an area that I will be improving on for sure.

I also learned that I am far more aggressive with him in conversations than I am with others, especially on my job.  Perhaps I know that i am bound to a certain level of professionalism when I am working and that keeps me at a more respectful level.  However, I need to also change this with my husband and be far more respectful when we confront one another.

This assignment really helped highlight areas in which I need to grow and I am thankful for that!

Effective Communication Across Cultures

At first, when asked if I communicated differently with people of different groups and cultures, my first instinct was to reply with the answer of "no".  However, with further introspect, I very much do respond to people of other cultures differently.  However, I don't feel that I do it in a negative way.

Throughout my day, I deal with children, colleagues,families of my students, my daughter and husband. In looking at my communication with them, I have taken notice of a few things.

When communicating with all of the above, I am really trying to be a good listener.  Often in the past, I would be so preoccupied with what I could say in response, that i was not truly listening.  I have been quieter in conversations as of lately, but I feel that i am making a better effort at being a better listener.

When communicating with the families of my children, I really have been trying to think about how I as a mother, would like to be dealt with by my child's teacher.  Do I want to hear what my child can't do or what they can do?  Do I want to know that my child is cared for by their teacher and they want to help them grow?  Yes, of course I do.  I have been approaching all of the parents I deal with in the same manner.

When communicating with my husband or daughter, I have found in the past that we can be the most disrespectful with each other.  at times, we can be quick to snap at each other whereas we might not act the same toward someone who is not so close.  This course has helped me to see that I need to treat them as "they" would want to be treated.  We can't stop effective communication at the door.

I do believe we can tailor our communication to the different groups and cultures we come across.  this doesn't have to be negative, but rather a positive change that helps us communicate and relate in a better way.

Observing Communication on Television

For this assignment, I chose to watch the show Long Island Medium on TLC.  While watching this show in its muted version, I noticed that, as the lady with the big hair (the Long Island Medium I presumed), entered a room, some people had their arms folded while looking at her while others in the room smiled and nodded as I watched her speak.  My assumptions of this non-verbal behavior would be that the people with their arms folded do not either believe in or trust someone who states that they are a medium.  While those who nod as she speaks and are smiling are much more open to her.  I also noticed in other scenes that as she speaks to what appear to be random people in a Chinese restaurant , some reach out and touch her arm as she speaks to them as others take steps back when she first approaches.  I believe that again, the ones who reach out to her are more open to her talent or gift whereas others who back away from it are more intimidated by it.

When I watched the show again, I found that my presumptions were correct.  When people accepted that she was a medium, they showed acceptance both verbally and physically.  However, those who were not as accepting did not say so verbally, but their body language spoke for them.  I found this to be interesting.  Often when we think we are fooling others of our true feelings, we are not.  Our body language can usually give us away!  This is something important to remember in the education filed because if we meet with parents or work with students, we need to be aware that our body language will often tell what we are truly thinking.

Positive Communication Skills

If I had to think of someone that I would like to model my communication skills after, it would be my fellow 2nd grade co-worker, Michele Brown.  When you talk to Michele, she really listens and responds to what you had to say.  I really noticed her skills last April.  There was a large group of co-workers, including myself and Michele,who had to sit with our principal to discuss some juvenile and unprofessional behavior by some co-workers.  There were people in the meeting who chose to make the situation unprofessional and, at times, inappropriate.  After a while, my temper flared and I became angry with many of the comments.  When I get angry, I don't shout, but rather cry.  Once I do this, I always feel that I am completely lost in trying to communicate my true feelings and I feel like I look weak.  However, throughout the whole meeting, despite nasty comments being pushed her way, Michele kept her calm.  She responded in a very professional manner and never lost her temper.  I left that meeting with a new respect for her.  Not only did she never loose her cool, she left the meeting looking better than any of the rest of us because she always kept composure and control over herself. I would really like to model many of my communication skills after Michele.

Professional Hopes and Goals

When thinking about parents and families that come from diverse backgrounds, my greatest hope as an educator, is that I provide an environemtn where both the student and parents feel welcomed, respected and valued.  I think it's safe to say that any person would want that in any situation.  However, i feel for a child to learn, this needs to be in place and a well-function relationship with the parents is a must.

If I could set a diversity-related goal for early childhood education, it would be that all undergraduate students should be required to take a course like this.  While it's great that I have learned all of this great information now, it would have been very useful when I was just beginning to teach.  All of the lessons we learned are vital and all educators should come equipped with these lessons before they ever enter a classroom.

I would like to thank all of my colleagues that have made the journey through this course with me.  I rather liked being placed in small groups for discussions and blogging.  I felt like I had a trusted group that I could share information with and gain new ideas.  I wish you all much success in the future...and enjoy the next two weeks with no assignments!!

Welcoming Families From Around the World

My town of Wapakoneta has a sister city in Lengerich, Germany. This has inspired me for this week's assignment.



My new student's name is Gretel.  Her family has just moved her from Lengerich, Germany as her father has taken an automotive engineer's job at the local Ford Engine Plant.  In preparation for Gretel's arrival, I have several adaptations to make.

1. I will conduct a home visit with Gretel and her parents.  Being able to interact with them one on one in their home, where they feel comfortable, will help give me some background knowledge on Gretel and I will see firsthand her family life.

2. I will research common words in German and teach those to my students prior to Gretel's arrival. Although Gretel's family is bilingual, I feel that hearing her native language will help her feel more at ease. Having at least a basic knowledge of the German language will help both me and my students communicate with her.

3. I will invite her parents to share their customs and family life from Germany with our class.  I would especially like for them to do a presentation at Christmas time to show the students how many of our Christmas traditions were started from where Gretel came.

4.  I would like to have a German food party.  I would ask Gretel what her favorite German foods are and have a sampling of these foods for the class.  I feel that food is such an important part of most cultures.  

5. I would also do background research to see what child development standards are in place in Germany. Gretel could be ahead or behind what we have already learned.  I want to be sure to ease her transition and not frustrate her.

In all, my goal is to provide a welcoming and non-threatening environment for both Gretel and her parents. I want them to feel that I respect and welcome them and their culture.  By doing this, we can work together to provide Gretel with a positive school experience.

Reference: http://www.everyculture.com/Ge-It/Germany.html